i don't think anyone reads this anymore
which is why i think i'm safe to write about some more personal stuff. I finished the last page of my actual private real paper journal last night, and i didn't have a chance to buy a new one today, and i don't want to start another one on just some random piece of paper. so here i am writing about my teenage troubles on the world wide web.
I've come to the conclusion that i'm much too confrontational. Every time i sense a problem i talk about it with the person and usually they don't even realize anything is wrong and then they get mad at me for bringing up problems that 'don't even exist' and then i look like an emotional fool. Dammit! not cool colleen not cool.
Rielle just apologized to me for not sticking up for me the other day. Aww. Love her.
Hmm maybe there are some people out there who understand me and just don't get the chance to say it all the time. Perhaps i should stop being whiny and appreciate what i have.
So to continue what i was saying earlier, i bring up problems so that we can work through them and so that they don't continue to grow and turn into really big problems. Yet most of the time i just get chewed out for fabricating problems out of thin air. And that makes me feel stupid at the time, and i apologize and blame it on me being emotional and stupid.. but when i think about it.. maybe it's not my fault. I'm just trying to do what's best and if someone cares about me wouldn't they see that? I just don't know.
.... In other news....
-Heather's home from Thailand.. yay
-My kitchen is now completely useless and off-limits until it's done being renovated
-I found a really gross spider in my room the other night
-I'm really slacking on my baby blanket knitting which sucks cause Alison's not slacking on her baby-making which means the baby is still coming out in august whether or not the blanket is ready!
-We have 3 more rehearsals until hiatus! That should be fun!
Alright now i am going to get ready for bed like a normal person and get into bed like a normal person and then fall asleep like a normal person and TOMORROW i will do my best to pretend i'm a normal person.
Love,
Colleen
I've come to the conclusion that i'm much too confrontational. Every time i sense a problem i talk about it with the person and usually they don't even realize anything is wrong and then they get mad at me for bringing up problems that 'don't even exist' and then i look like an emotional fool. Dammit! not cool colleen not cool.
Rielle just apologized to me for not sticking up for me the other day. Aww. Love her.
Hmm maybe there are some people out there who understand me and just don't get the chance to say it all the time. Perhaps i should stop being whiny and appreciate what i have.
So to continue what i was saying earlier, i bring up problems so that we can work through them and so that they don't continue to grow and turn into really big problems. Yet most of the time i just get chewed out for fabricating problems out of thin air. And that makes me feel stupid at the time, and i apologize and blame it on me being emotional and stupid.. but when i think about it.. maybe it's not my fault. I'm just trying to do what's best and if someone cares about me wouldn't they see that? I just don't know.
.... In other news....
-Heather's home from Thailand.. yay
-My kitchen is now completely useless and off-limits until it's done being renovated
-I found a really gross spider in my room the other night
-I'm really slacking on my baby blanket knitting which sucks cause Alison's not slacking on her baby-making which means the baby is still coming out in august whether or not the blanket is ready!
-We have 3 more rehearsals until hiatus! That should be fun!
Alright now i am going to get ready for bed like a normal person and get into bed like a normal person and then fall asleep like a normal person and TOMORROW i will do my best to pretend i'm a normal person.
Love,
Colleen
posted by Colleen! @ 1:33 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:54 AM,
Anonymous said…
You believe that you are wrong in being confrontational?!
Then what is to be made of the greatest philosophers for being called aggressors and deconstructionists? And what of the psychologists that spent their lives oppressed, in attempt to express the need to exhume the conflicted self?
One should sleep only after their issues have been resolved, just as one should sleep only after their job is done.
Colleen, dear, we thrive on our ability to problem solve and should never allow the simple terms and displeasure of others to deter us from our need to sleep in peace.
If someone has an issue and is quiet... they are a martyr.
If someone withholds an issue, in the effort to refrain from a possiblity of refraction in friendship, they are among the hypocritical and betray their own action.
At 2:03 AM,
Anonymous said…
If someone withholds an issue, in the effort to refrain from a possiblity of animosity or disdain or annihilation of friendship, they are among the hypocritical and betray their own action in the very thought of it!
At 1:31 AM,
The Collabos said…
Colleen,
Honestly I know we don't have very many really deep conversations about ourselves all that often, so I figure now is as good a time as any. Honestly, the fact that you are brutally honest is one of the reasons I love you. I have gotten so sick of people bullshitting and not saying what they mean, that it is refreshing to come across someone who isn't afraid of honesty and it's consequences. I can't lie and say that sometimes it isn't abrasive, but I would rather that than a lie. Don't apologize from being above the bullshit of others. If I need advice on anything from fashion to personal issues, you don't pander to me and you tell me straight up, whether I like what you have to say or not. I say kudos for being one of the few genuine people I know.
Love,
Akiva
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